Sunday, April 7, 2013

Work Me a Little Magic

I have recently found myself working freelance. Doing just about anything (and I do mean anything).

Now, for once in my life I have found lady luck on my side with very easy clients. But I feel I must address the magic issue.

People that work in the arts do NOT perform magic!

Even though I really wish I could. I have a list of enemies growing by the hour. A little voodoo might come in handy *evil laugh*.

Alright, I have broken down a list of things that artists, and what would otherwise appear to be miracle workers, do NOT have or do. So commit it to memory people.

Number ONE:
We do not work magic.
I know we make it look easy, but what we show you people. Is the end result of hours of computer time, paired with unrestrained swearing, and tons of coffee.

Number TWO:
I do not have a stash of work elfs running around my house. What you see is all me, so lighten up on the dead lines people. This is not slave labor!

Number THREE:
We are not mind readers.
Just because you have an idea in your head, and gives us three words to work with. Do not ensure we know what the hell you are talking about or thinking. So don't be surprised when it looks, or sounds nothing like what you wanted.

Number FOUR:
Do not, and let me be clear, DO NOT try and fix things yourself.
Really, you are only making our lives a lot harder. Would you try a heart transplant yourself, and then show up on at the ER when it goes wrong, hoping it can be fixed? Well if you did I see a long vacation in strips planed for you.

Number FIVE:
There is no damn easy button.
As many times as I have asked Santa for one, he just won't bring it. So when you ask for something really off the wall or what you think is easy, just keep in mind we do not have a magic button that makes things happen. Unless my contractor put in my trap doors that lead into my basement cat pit. Where your soul shall forever be consumed by the Gremlin Cat!! *Evil laugh*

Sorry, you didn't hear that.

Hope this helps a few of you out when working with your magic workers. I doubt it, but at least you know why we always act like wired crack addicts.

Till next time my Sexy Demon Minions!