Saturday, January 25, 2014

Not Going There

This is kind of a random Saturday rant for everyone.

It is no secret by now that I am a horror movie addict. I love them and if it gives me nightmares all the better, but there is one type of horror movie I will not go near. I mean anywhere close to.

Horror movies about mirrors!

Having nightmares for a few nights is fine, being terrified for months. Not really something I want to go through. I'm not really sure what it is about mirrors that freak me out, but they do and not for silly self image reasons either.

Think about it, a mirror is like a view to another world. You can see so much in a mirror who the hell knows what is on the other side, and seeing Candyman when I still impressionable didn't help any.

What brought on this confession was the trailer for the new horror movie Oculus, from what I have grasped from the trailer. Not only does it have an old creepy mirror, but it has a creepy little poem to go along with it. Then blood, yeah that's right, BLOOD running down it. Like you needed anymore creepiness surrounding this mirror. NOT COOL!!

So while I think it is a neat concept and it peeks my interest, unless I am heavily intoxicated I will not be seeing this movie. Ever. For crap sake people I sleep with a mirror overlooking my bed! The last thing I want is to be so scared I end up putting a white sheet over it, which then only makes it even more creepy!!

If you want to check out the trailer hit the link. Trailer HERE!!

Till Next Time My Fellow Horror Lovers!

Friday, January 24, 2014

Workspace Update!

I finally got a drawing table, which I am hoping helps both my wrist and back. Yeah I could use an art board like I have for the last few years, but holding that bad boy at the right angle is killing my wrist and I really don't have the space at my desk to get the right angle.

Next best thing was a drawing table, so look what I got!

Yep, finally got one. Which meant I had to spend the last two days trying to figure out how to include it in my work area. Let me tell you it wasn't easy, my house is insanely small but I figured it out. Check it out!

I look forward to spending many hours in my little corner increasing my chances of arthritis. Just in time for classes to start on Monday. Can not wait! (remind me I said that four weeks from now when I am sick of assignments.)

Till Next Time My Fellow Crazies!

Wednesday, January 22, 2014

Old Stuff, New Year: The Missing Piece

It seems that I tend to get the most views from posting my old writings up, and who am I to go against what people want? So here is another little snip from my past that I shook the dust off of.

In that past I was a big RPer, and I was on a lot of different forums. People always said the same thing about my stuff. I have a gift for writing death scenes, yeah because I really want to be remembered for that.

The other night I stumbled onto an old fan fiction of mine that I had been converting away from being a fan fiction. Needless to say it has a fairly depressing and awful ending, but still good enough to make me cry after all these years.

So here it is, the ending death scene of The Missing Piece (yeah I really don't know where I came up with some of these titles. Give me a break I was only 18)

The Missing Piece: Rei's Death

Jet black steel loomed over Gage, panic overriding the fighter inside him. Canceling that natural talent he had for jumping into action and keeping the coolest of heads. His mind swimming with the unforeseen future of death.

            Hassan's blade moved slower then the second hand that ticked against the stone walls of the room. Counting down the painfully long seconds of Gage's certain end as he inched backward. Crawling, reaching, frantically looking for his discarded blade. His eyes widened in surprise, how could it end like this? How could he, the chosen warrior die so easily at the hands of his enemy?

            The Gods had been mistaken, he wasn't chosen for anything but death. Clenching his eyes shut Gage braced for the blow of Hassan's sword. His rival had finally bested him. Gage's  hands still feeling backwards for anything to defend no matter the hopelessness of it. Stone scrapping at his fingertips as he clawed backwards, then cool metal. The ridged metal hilt of his sword so familiar sent the adrenaline racing through his body. It was back. A strong urge to battle against fate, Gage took hold of his blade. Blindly stabbing forward in hopes of defending against the apparition of death.

            A haunting echo of metal bouncing against stone stilled the room. Gage slowly opened his eyes. It was either him or Hassan and he could not trust the feel of his sword still in hand. The mind played tricks to soften the reality of fate's design. His blue eyes studied Hassan, and his sword that lay on the ground. Gage had struck him, his weapon plunged through his heart up to the hilt. Warm dark blood oozed from the wound covering Gage's hand sending the rush of victory through his body.

            Hassan's large demon like hands clasped around Gage's pulling himself closer to the hero, Hassan hissed. "I'm not going alone." The words haunting, sending a chill through Gage's body.

            Deep cracks started to form in Hassan's hands, the old demon had once again used up his life in the mortal world. Gage's eyes locked with the golden glare of Hassan's, his words might had been threatening but Gage showed no fear. Flicking his wrist he twisted the blade into his enemy. Hassan didn't cry out, he simply grinned as a woman's groan replaced the sound of his decaying body. Gage's heart stopped. Fear clenched his chest tight, stilling his blood and chilling his soul.

            Hassan's body dissolved into blacken ash, crumbling into a pile before Gage, revealing the nightmare he had been running from for months. Rei's soft purple eyes met with the horror in his. His sword impaled in his lover's chest. The nightmare that had plagued him coming true in a moment of false victory. Rei smiled that sweet smile that had warmed his heart so many times. Now it only brought heart ache as the sparkle of mystery fled from her deep plum eyes.

            Gage withdrew his blade in one fluid motion, rising swiftly to stop her fall as her body slumped forward without the strength to stand. He cradled her dieing body in his arms as they sunk back to the flood. Rei's long silver hair pooled around them, mixing with the rich crimson of her own blood.

"Why did you do that?!" he growled at her. She had held Hassan back, subdued him long enough for Gage to blindly find his blade. If he had just been paying attention, if he didn't turn away from his own looming death this could have been avoided. He would have seen her pulling Hassan back, and his sword would have never impaled so deeply into both of them.
            Blood streamed from the corner of those full lips. Lips he had kissed with feverish lust only hours ago. She couldn't respond verbally to him, her words stifled by the blood pooling in her throat. Instead she gave him another warming smile, assuring Gage his life was more important to not only their Gods but her as well. Her soft tiny hand reached for him one last time, needing to feel his skin one last time before the world turned its back on her, but she didn't have the strength. Her life fleeting so fast Rei's red lips turned purple, her healthy tanned complexion drained of all its beautiful color. Replaced with the dull graying haze of death that even stool that last glimpse of life left in her eyes. Gage seized her hand as she tried to reach for him, bring the chilled flesh to his face but it was too late. Rei was gone from this world, denied her last wish for one more loving touch of the man she lived and died for.

Till Next Time My Fine Fury Friends!
(Yeah I have been watching too much Criminal Minds again)

Monday, January 20, 2014

Movie Review: The Haunting in Connecticut 2

It's been awhile since I have done a movie review, but I felt I really had to give credit where credit is due. So lets get this party started!

The only thing I love just as much as crime documentaries/drama shows are paranormal ones. 
Yep, I have the paranormal/supernatural bug. I mean come on, this stuff makes for really good stories and reality sucks.
In a fit a boredom I ended up watching The Haunting in Connecticut 2: Ghost of Georgia. 

First off I really had no interest in watching this, why? Because the freaking title makes no sense. It doesn't take place in Connecticut, and while it is still a movie based on a families account of a haunting, please tell me why we had to reuse the title "The Haunting in Connecticut"?

Is anyone else bothered by this or is it just me?

When a movie has a lame title that makes no sense or contradicts the movie itself, I just know I am in for a lame movie.

HOWEVER; I can admit when I am wrong, and I was completely wrong.
I really enjoyed this movie, more so then most paranormal haunting movies and here is why.
Don't read it if you don't want to know.

-The characters were awesome, love the family they all have their own personalities that just go well together. There is no over acting like in some movies (A Haunting in Salem). Even the little girl is awesome, and I love the sister. Who doesn't like a fiery redhead?

-The south, yeah I love the fact this movie takes place in the south. It was one of the only reasons why I gave this movie a chance. The south feels so rich with history, there is just something about the air where you can feel the magic, for lack of a better word.

-Sister Strung Up Scene,
this has to be the coolest thing I have ever freaking seen in a movie. When the sister first gets attacked I think to myself, "Oh yeah coughing up needles and stitches, predictable." Then when her sister finds her, Holy Hell! Coolest thing ever!! (yes I know I am insane. Refer to banner)

-Daddy Dearest. This guy gets the father and man of the year award of awesome!! I have watched tons, I mean tons of horror movies and paranormal haunting crap. Stuff most people would never even think of turning on. This is one of very very very few times I have witnessed the husband not turning his back on the idea his child can see ghosts. He is all for listening to his daughter and taking the word of the creepy old ghost that hangs around her. While the mother who can also see this stuff, turns her back on her daughter, makes her feel crazy, and drugs herself to get rid of the visions of dead people. Way To Go Dad! This guy is firmly placed in my awesome book with five gold stars!

So here is what I didn't like:
Although the mother gets on my nerves from time to time with her denial game, I respect her reasons why. Plus she comes through in the end, and even though that is a very predicable thing for her character, it works.

Like the first movie I find this one to be one of the better haunting paranormal movies out there. Far strides better then Paranormal Activity or The Conjuring. It might not be up there with Stephen King, but it is worth a watch and has a happy ending. Which is rare in movies of this nature. Either the family is pushed out of the house overly distressed but happy for living. Which I find to be a load of shit. You know those people are going to be messed up for years. Or they end up dieing in the home. Seriously, I actually thought the mother was going to die at the end. How often do you see a movie like this without having someone die? It is rare even though it happens.

If you want a ghost movie that is going to creep you out, offer awesome ghost attack scene, and still has a happy ending, you have to check out this movie. It is worth the watch.

Till Next Time Movie Goers!

Friday, January 17, 2014

Old Stuff, New Year: Memories In Snow

Last night I spent a bunch of hours looking over all my old work. Why? Really because I was looking for new old ideas. You know, things you write about but then completely forgot you did them.

Let me tell you I found some very interesting stuff. VERY interesting. Some of it was awful, some of it was brilliant, and some of it was just scary.

What did I get out of all of this?

Well, I found out that I am one messed up person. Everything I have written is very sad, twisted, and makes me feel a little sorry for my characters. Ok fine. A lot sorry for them.
I also feel it is a shame to keep all this awesomeness to myself. So I will randomly be posting up some of my old, old, old stuff for a little treat.

Now I have hardly gone back and touched up any of this stuff, it is all raw and straight from the twisted mind of a teenager/early adult hood. So don't be too harsh of a judge people.

Alright first little gem is something I wrote as a squeal to another story when I was 20. So about nine years ago. It is one I have actually posted the beginnings of earlier. Hit the links to read them.

SPOILER ALART. (If you have plans to wait until I actually finish the first story, then you might not want to read the background portion. Just skip over the bright red text and head downward.)
            Redd has found he is the son the King lost in the great wars. Sage, his love from the first story has returned after every has thought her dead from the final battle. Redd is now King since his father did not survive the battle either. He is also engaged to another noble in his court, right as Sage reappears.

Memories in Snow
(I have no idea where I came up with the title from. Just go with it.)

Warming pinks and deep oranges gave little warmth to the winter frosted land as the sun started to raise beyond the snowy hills of the west. Redd stood at his frosted window watching his breath create fog against the glass, the first rays of sunlight dancing off the tops of gold plated towers of the palace. It was this time, these few moments before all the people woke to go about their daily duties, that Redd had peace. Complete silence for his thoughts which had grown more complex over the last few months. Thinking back over had they had ended in such a difficult situation. Two years go he was just some lowly servant to the crowd guarding the princess. Now he was the crowded long lost son of the former king. The country depended on him, his sister Violet depended on him, then there was Sage.
            She had made it a point to avoid him, even though she argued otherwise. They all thought he dead, lost in that final battle years ago. Yet here she was like nothing have ever happened. Returning to her normal life like now of it ever happened, but Redd couldn't put it so easily out of his mind. He committed a sin toward her, an unforgivable sin that lead to her tragic death. If she could just forgive him maybe there was still a chance for the both of them. Resting his forehead against the window Redd let out an aggravated sigh. There was so much to be said and so much that had become more them just complicated. Sage had barely said a word to him since her return and when she did speak to him it was like a subject to their king. Was that all he was at this point in her life?
            Glancing back up from his thoughts Redd's blue eyes caught something moving down in the garden. A figure moving about the iced trees and snow capped bushes. The figure turned briefly to survey the area, Redd's heart skipped a beat recognizing that long raven hair. Redd barely had time to grab his rob as he raced down the empty halls of the palace and out into the gardens. This might be his only chance to speak with Sage with no one around to interrupt them. His impatience stride halted the second he entered the garden, the last thing wanted was to spook her. She would only run, make her getaway before they could have this talk.
            Redd crept across the snow covered path trying to find where she had gone, turning the corner to the small courtyard tucked away between the palace walls he froze. It was like witness some supernatural maiden in all her beauty and wonder. Sage was seated on a small stone bench beneath the old willow tree. The branches were bare, the flowers replaced by a thick coating of ice that seemed to form into their own crystal flowers. Reflecting the morning light against Sage's rich tanned skin, bring a life to her Redd had never witnessed before.
            Redd's foot took a step forward without his mind even commanding it. The fresh untouched snow made a light crunching sound under his weight, a sublet sound but to a trained warrior like Sage it was like someone had dropped a plate of armor on stone. She stood quickly to face him, drawing her cloak around her shoulders to hide the night attire she still had on. The second her eyes found him, she bowed. Dipping her head in a respectful manner that made Redd cringe.
“My King.” She said to him in an obedient tone. He hated to hear her say those words, they might have seemed harmless and standard, but Redd knew they meant so much more coming from her. She was distancing herself from him, putting a wall between them and maybe even secretly cursing his name. He deserved it all.
            Sage looked back to him, those deep green eyes made Redd fall into the comfortable state of aw. “Was there something you need of me My King?” She asked, waking Redd from his daze.
“Don’t do that.”
“Do what, My King?” She knew her obedient nature was starting to wear on Redd, but she didn’t care.
“You know what!” he snapped at her. Taking a few steps forward his eyes became softer. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to yell.”
“There is no reason to be sorry.” Sage replied with her cold tone, stepping out of her crystal hideaway.
“There is a reason…There are many reasons why I'm sorry.”  he took a step forward and waited to see if she would flee. “I wish you would forgive me.”  he said again, and to his surprise she didn't move away. This was good, at least she wasn't running like always.
“I forgave you a long time ago for abandoning me. I know you had your reasons and your grief.” Even though her words seemed sincere her tone was not. Redd shook his head, she was being difficult on purpose now.
“I wasn’t talking about that. I meant for Julia and not waiting. For giving you hope when there wasn’t any. I didn’t mean for it to happen like this. This isn’t what I wanted for—“
“For us?” Sage finished for him. “There is no us Redd. You are going to be married in the spring and once you release me from your services I will move on. Until then I will do one thing and one thing only. Be your loyal servant.” Redd could hear the hurt in her voice and she had every right to feel hurt.
“Sage don’t so this. I said I was—“
“Sorry!? Sorry for what?! For lying to me?! For putting me through hell and then taking it all back as I lay there dieing?!? And then after years of trying to find my way back I find you here with this.. this.. This woman about to be married?!?” Sage wasn’t speaking like the rational warrior she was but rather a woman that had been hurt. A woman that had been rejected by her lover. “You couldn’t wait?!”
“I thought you were DEAD, Sage! It wasn’t like I wanted this to happen. Why can you not understand that?”
“And yet when I return you don’t show one once of joy at all. Instead you just treat me like your slave.” Redd had to look away. Those green eyes of hers were filling with tears and he couldn’t stand to see her cry.
            Sage had brought her arms up around herself feeling so foolish and hurt in that moment. Her whole reason for life seemed to slip away right before her as the tears rolled down her face. Turning to walk away she added “I was so foolish to think you ever loved me.” Said at barely a whisper, but Redd had heard it. His head snapped toward her and before he knew what happen Redd had snatched her to him. His hand gripping the back of her neck, forcing her into a kiss. She was going to know how much he still loved her, needed her. Even if she refused him now, she was going to know. To his surprise Sage was kissing him back and what started as a short surprising reaction, turned into a heated passionate kiss between old lovers. As their lips parted Redd looked into her tear glistened  eyes. His thumb wiping the tear from her cheek and the other at the small of her back holding her firmly to him. 
“Sage,” Link breathed out in the crisp cold morning. “There wasn’t a moment that I ever stopped loving you. I just want to be with you. Don’t you know that?” Sage had to look away from him as she took his hand from her face. Kissing the back of it softly she then let it fall to his side, stepping back from his embrace she knew this could never happen between them.
“And yet you will be married in the spring and I will be there to see the man that loves me marry another woman. I will stand there in the back of the temple knowing that you will be embracing her just like this.” Her fingers coming to his lips for a moment, remembering that intense kiss. “That all those soft kisses will be hers, and you will be with her in away you will never be with me. Knowing all this you still have the nerve to tell me you love me?” The realization on just what he was doing to her hit him all at once. The words had started to form from his mouth but Sage had stopped him. “Please, I have heard enough.” Sage begged him before dropping her hand from his mouth and leaving swiftly.
            Redd stood there shocked by the reality of it, the truth that he was hurting her for his own needs. His own selfish reasons were still causing her pain, but he couldn't let her go. Things had gotten so complicated. He stood there tracing his eyes along the foot prints she had left in the snow. This was three times he had turned his back on her, and Redd found himself asking if he ever did love her.

Till Next Time

Monday, January 13, 2014

Fancy Toys, Who Needs Them?!

When I first started drawing I used it as an escape from all the pressures around me. I spent hours in my room with an old sketchbook, and busted colored pencils just drawing my little heart out. Money was tight in my family and I would often go back and erase old thumbnail sketches from my school sketchbooks just so I had a new page to use.

When I look back at that time I realize that I was able to create with next to nothing, but now you have all these top of the line pencils, markers, and special guide rulers. Paper just for manga drawing, and comic book paper with the blue guides already notched in for you. That is all well and good, helps a lot trust me.


I am here to tell you, you don't need it. Honestly, you don't need the fancy stuff to do what you love to do. All you need is a way to express it. I was at my happiest just drawing with old perused sketchbook paper and a pencil that was a quarter the size of my finger (I use my pencils until the sharper has completely devoured them.)

I would like to believe that if you can creature things with the bare minimum of supplies then that makes you a true artist, writer, musician. Because you worked with what you had, and had to find a creative way to achieve what other people did with everything handed to them.

Seriously, don't get caught up thinking you need special markers because that is what all the top professionals use. Sometimes they can just be a pain in the ass to use, and then you have a $100 set of markers you don't want to use because they annoy the hell out of you.

Now I am not saying some of the fancy toys aren't useful or neat, but don't hold yourself back because you think you can't do something just because you don't have the brand new shiny toy. The Masters that created a lot of the great works we study today didn't have those advantages either. Just keep that in mind next time you think you need the new shiny toy.

Because you can buy all the fancy tools in the world, but you can't buy talent or skill.

Till Next Time My Padded-Room Cellmates!

Sunday, January 5, 2014

Verbal Abuse, Just Don't Do It

I want to get a little serious on you tonight, so hang in there with me. I watch a lot of crime shows, almost anything on Investigation Discovery. Most of which are all awful stories about people doing awful things to other people. I have met my fair share of awful people in my life, and I have witnessed first hand what other people are capable of, both good and bad. Abuse is one of those things. I have seen some really awful abuse that my friends and family members have gone through.

Tonight I just kind of wrote this little thing remembering my friends who I have helped to pick up after years of abuse. The biggest thing I want anyone that reads this to take away from it is that what you say can hurt a lot more then hitting someone. Now that is not to downgrade physical abuse at all. Any form of abuse is just unacceptable. But physical pain fades and heals given enough time. Scars that words and emotions leave last a lot longer, and sometimes can be irreversible.

The Power of Words
"The world is a burdening thing. Every second of every day of your life it does nothing but try to knock you down. Push you to the ground, bury you to the neck in all the negatives it has flourished on. For most people they travel through life in a daze, shutting out the pressure. Gliding along like it is just another natural thing to take the abuse of others. Then there are those who sell their soul to aid the problem. Infecting everyone with more negative energy, spreading the heavy burden of life outward. Knee-capping the people that try to make it a little brighter for the rest of us. There are still others that are able to escape the senseless cruelties of a world spinning from the poison of others.

            I was ten when I found out what I wanted to be. Completing a creative writing assignment in English class I knew right away I wanted to do that for the rest of my life. Bring life into the lifeless imagination of other people. Spark that beauty in the world that only I could see. I arrived home with a bounce in my step announcing as I came in that I wanted to be a writer. My mother put her wine bottle down long enough to laugh. She reminded me that grammar, spelling, anything to do with writing was not my strong suit. Telling me I was put in the stupid classes for a reason, which were really just learning aid classes. My dream crumbled before me and I left the room with a heavy heart. That night I ripped my writing assignment into pieces and swore I would never try it again. I told myself to not even try because I would never be any good at it.

            Years later I would find something else I loved to do, with the thought of college not far off. My mother again in a drunken stupor informed me I was too lazy to do something that involved. This pattern continued well into my high school years, by the time I was a senior in high school there was not much left. I have lived like this all my life, promising myself the world would never bury me with its negative shit. But the walls are caving in, the tide is high, and I haven't the will to struggle."

Till Next Time

Thursday, January 2, 2014

Creative Warm-Ups!

One of the things I like to do when I am feeling creatively blocked, or I just have an itch to scratch is randomly sketch or write. I start out with no direction, no plan for anything. Just put pencil to paper or fingers to keyboard and see what comes of that. Some of my best ideas have come from doing this, and it gets you all warmed up for a bigger project. Kind of like doing a warm up before excusive or running. Have to stretch those creative muscles to get them in the mood!!

At my husband's request I have started to save my little random warm-ups, one of which I glanced over last night. Since I am in such a sharing mood this morning, I figured why not post it up? It is a nice quick little read. Hope you enjoy!

"Duality, the equal portions of life that are present in all things. Ying and yang, good, evil, peace, chaos, all light is followed by pure darkness. It is a fact we can not run from, nor hide. No matter how much denial we burry it under, or how much we delude ourselves. That darkness, the primal instinct of nature is always there, lingering just below the thin surface of reality. Our immoral urges give it fuel, and dirty secrets the path it takes to seep out into the world.
            But what is so wrong with the darkness? Why does the world look down upon this entity of their own humanity? Could it be fear?
            Yes, fear. The butterflies that stir in the very beginning. The reason we shy aware from courageous acts, hide form change, and reject foreign concepts and reality. Fear can be a very powerful tool. One that leads us to the darkness, into the abyss of human depravity. That is often the reason many of us have fallen. Lost forever in a world surrounded with humanity. A world that we once ruled without care or concern of consequences, but that era has past. At least on the surface.
            My memories of that time are fleeting, but there are many things I can recall clearly. I lived in a small village just fifty miles west of the castle that loomed over most of the country side. Our lord ruled from his intimidating perch up top the world. A cruel and awful man that would often take many children from the surrounding villages. Rumors were he would sell them to slave traders, other were much more colorful but even darker still. However; that is a tail for another time and place.
            Right now there are things advancing to bring that world back to life. To breath new air into the era of darkness that would soon grab this shining city. Even I could not have known it at the time. Wisdom and caution are only things you gain with time, and I have a lot of that."

Wednesday, January 1, 2014

New Year for More Trouble!!!

Yep, one year ended and another is just starting. So now it is the time to make meaningless promises that only 1/3 of the population will end up keeping.

Me, personally I don't like making resolutions. The mention of a resolution just turns me off and sends a signal to my brain that I really don't have to follow it. So instead I am just going to try and do everything different this year. Ok maybe just some things different this year… ALRIGHT! you got me, maybe one thing different. You guys just know me to well.

Anyways a little update at what the New Year holds for the Insanity blog and my four fans. I'm in the process of moving and setting up a new flashy website, not to flashy though. I also have a big midpoint review for school this spring so be gentle with me, my nerves can only take so much. On top of that I am this close, this close (what the hell am I saying you can't see my fingers this is the freaking web!) to finishing one of my many books. Besides that who knows what else will come out of this year, you will just have to stay tuned and keep an eye out.

Happy New Year Everyone!